Saturday, January 29, 2011
Are You Being Served?
No, I don't mean the old British sitcom. These are the words I heard from the sweetest looking store clerk as I stepped into Sassy's store this morning. Am I being served? Well, not yet, but I soon will be.
Yes, maybe you can help me. I hope you work on commission, because I am looking for a lot of add-ons and I hear this is the place to get them. "Why, yes Sir, I can help you. Please walk this way." I'm not sure I can walk that way but let me swing my hips and follow you.
"This Gorean tripod is all the rage if you ever track in the Gorean emp..oooooh, you seem to have accidentally activated my belt Sir." Relax, I'm just making sure I understand how this add-on works. "wink wink nudge nudge" to my readers.
Isn't this the hottest ass you've seen displayed on Sassy's showroom floor? Too bad my hand prints didn't come through with the photography.
A girl in jeans shorts and a halter top just doesn't go with a Gorean tripod. "Of course Sir, it looks far more realistic with me nude. Ohhhh, what are you doing with your fingers THERE?"
Just getting you warmed up for this. "Oh Sir, this is certainly an in-depth demonstration!" Quiet, if you want to make a sale.
Lets take a look around and see what other add-on items Sassy has for sale.
Now, I've always been a fan of the work scene add-on. Nothing gets my respect quicker than the blue collar working man. Speaking of collar, open that throat up for me. "mmmmmmmphhhhhh!" What do you mean will I need financing?
Lets see if this item lets the user get as in-depth with his guest as the tripod. Love the sign. How appropriate is that? At this point conversation with the store clerk was meaningless, but let me attempt to summarize, "groan groan gasp moan whimper whimper sneeze? gasp"
"So Sir, do you see anything you like?" Yeah, you might say that. What kind of delivery system do you have? "Oh, we're strictly cash and carry. Why did you just drop some money on the floor? Where are you taking me????" Cash and carry bitch.
"Oh jesus! Where are we?" Your new home bitch.
"OMG! Sasssssy!!! Help meeeee....!!!! but not TOO quickly."
Take it deep bitch. So deep it forces you open. "Oh no Sir! I'm too fertile!"
Good. I hope Sassy has a maternity plan in place for her employees.
Now, time to clean me up so we can both get back to work. "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmpppph!"
Now that's a BAD DAY.