All Hallow's Eve. That time of year when children go guising, attend costume parties, make jack-o-lanterns, light bonfires and bob for apples, visit haunted houses, play incorrigible pranks, tell scary stories and just resort to all sorts of tomfoolery.
But unbeknownst to most, its also the time of year when the evil Sassy witch roams the earth, looking for wayward sluts to corrupt and bring under the influence of her dark power.
Luckily, the forces of good are represented by this man. Father Sinister.
Not to be put off by the foreboding weather and heavy fog, Father Sinister began his search by querying numerous townspeople around the area where the Evil Witch was said to operate. Not all of the townsfolk appeared to be very coherent, a state easily chalked up to dark magic. Luckily one fellow had been on his cell phone at the time of the Evil Witch's spell and was still in a state of semi-coherency. Father Sinister was directed to find a trailer situated in a graveyard and to look for either a gray or black cat, the Evil Witch's familiars.
Our hero quickly located a foreboding graveyard, and attempted to obtain information from a distraught looking girl before realizing it was the ghost of an innocent skirt wearer, no doubt locked in the netherworld by the Evil Witch. Father Sinister sensed the evil trailer park church must be nearby.
Sure enough. If ever a place spoke more of evil than a trailer converted into a dark unholy place, this had to be it.
Upon entering the church of ill refute, a gray cat was encountered. Before our hero could take steps to protect himself, he heard a raspy challenge coming from the pulpit of the dark church.
Turning his gaze in the direction of the voice, Father Sinister's gaze settled upon a lovely and tempting lass, but clearly the Evil Witch herself.
Father Sinister clutched his holy book tightly, and began chanting a long forgotten prayer. One which would drain the Evil Witch of her power and enable our hero to restrain her.
What luck! The prayer worked and before she could retaliate with her own dark magic, the Evil Witch was restrained and her power drained.
Our hero then removed the Evil Witch to her own unholy room of worship and forced her to sit in the middle of her own pentagram, keeping a wary eye on her other familiar.
Not having any means by which to transport the necessary amount of holy water with which to vanquish the Evil Witch and remove her powers, our hero had drank the water, knowing it would be converted inside his body to holy seed. He then set about the laborious task of transferring his holy seed into the vessel of the Evil Witch. Grueling work, but necessary.
Once the Evil Witch was filled with the good Father's holy seed and her body at its weakest stage, our hero began the task of cleansing her flesh as well.
All of her flesh.
Not an easy chore, but luckily our hero had plenty of seed in reserve.
Once the dirty deed was done, our hero left the now powerless witch laying helpless at the foot of a tombstone which simply read, "Have a BAD day bitches!"
Happy Halloween everyone. No witches were hurt during the filming of this blog entry. Well, not much anyway.
